Monday, January 28, 2013

Day 29: Light

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." 
- Aristotle Onassis

Read the above quote four times and tell me what you think of it. Precisely what I thought after coming across it heedlessly at least 25 times; So when I'm having the worst day ever where I lose hope and faith and everything that keeps me living I should probably, oh wait I must focus to see the light or what ever that could possibly be on the brighter side?

It is during my darkest moments, or so I believe they are my darkest and gloomiest yet, that I find toughest to be open to any positive thoughts. I say and do things irrationally that is brought upon only from my pessimistic side, but that's what the dark mind does to you; it attends to negative thoughts and neglects anything that might seem positive or hopeful. But over time, through personal experiences, I figured that usually after a long thought I've been accustomed to go through several stages which eventually make me feel better altogether. I learnt that 1) There are ways of making yourself feel better, 2) It might take a little effort and time but you WILL feel better sooner or later.

I was never comfortable with telling others what I really thought and felt, until I felt like I wanted someone else not just to listen but to understand. Closure isn't always a good idea in a long run. I guess what I'm trying to say is no matter how dark a situation or a feeling may be, there is light somewhere. May it be a bright or dim light, just like an idea it can be cultivated - give yourself some time and with a little effort, you are bound to feel better. It's never a cinch but this I can promise you - you WILL feel better.

This might not help but I sure hope it will: You are much more than you think you are; you are you and you are of beauty and pleasantness and your existence is momentous and to quote a friend, "Your life is important".

I apologize for the hiatus I had taken from this photo challenge for classes and school-related matters
are keeping me occupied but I am soon to reach the end of this challenge wohoo!
Anyone up for a jolly song?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Day 28: Nighttime

This semester, although began only three days ago, is the semester where I am drowned into a schedule I knew I wouldn't be fond of; thanks to the fact that I had to take a 7:30 a.m. class as other times for the course I'm taking filled up pretty quick. Nonetheless, this semester's commencement (for now) marked the end of my deteriorating sleeping habits; no more staying up until someone else gets up for breakfast or until I see daylight and hear birds chirping, no more unproductive activities while staying awake late, no more squandering hours doing nothing significant, no more brooding constantly over the pettiest or hugest matters in life, no more time to dwell on unnecessary things to dwell on. Of course when I say no more I really meant not as much anymore. I will still do those things mentioned regardless, simply because some things we are accustomed to doing. I probably just won't do them as much now.

If it weren't for my morning class, I'd still be comfortable with the idea of hitting the sack at 3 or 4 a.m. Nocturnal or not, I used to think that I had no reasons to sleep early and that I was more productive at nighttime. Over time it just became a habit like any other habit I have; it stuck with me and I stuck with it. My late nights weren't entirely productive but they were like a scale on a gas tank; full or empty. Those nights were neither filled nor barren of activities, but of thoughts.

Hours would be occupied with watching movies, drawing or sketching, reading and having multiple waffles coated thick with Nutella but for some of the times, what kept me up was the solitude. On nights like these when desolateness doesn't seem as desolate, it almost felt like my mind was opened to another expanse of ideas, hope and freedom. Thoughts creep on the mind but they are of both good and bad; they are what makes me ponder, they are what makes me sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up and repeat that routine, they are what makes me keep going and hanging on.

The above picture was taken slightly over a month ago, several weeks before Christmas when my housemates and I got a Christmas tree for the house. One of my housemate enthusiastically decorated her door and the interior space of her room with Christmas lights and other pretty decorative items. The picture might not seem to have much relevance with today's blog post but I figured I'd go with it because I haven't got many photos pertaining nighttime to select from...

Music's always a good company during late nights; give this song a try.
 What keeps you awake at night?

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Day 27: Daily Routine

Having to rotate a pot (or three) a quarter turn daily might not be much of a huge routine (no daily quarter turn rotations might result in bad plants!) but it is supposedly a daily routine for two other housemates of mine and myself for probably a few months, or at least until something germinates! Guess what we're growing?

Dude I'm starting to really like this group (!!).

Monday, January 14, 2013

Day 26: Transportation

What seems to be one of the pettiest things a transportation can provide 
might actually offer much more than you are aware of.

I recently stumbled upon a song that gives me a lift and that I happen to keep listening to on repeat.
Won't you have a listen? (:

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Day 25: Artwork

Untitled/ Just another assignment for drawing class/ Just another flower
Water soluble crayons on 22x30" watercolor paper

One of the songs where its lyrics recently struck a chord in me.

Day 24: Gratitude

Never have I truly appreciated the little things I see, overcome and have.


The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
gratefulness - thankfulness - thanks - appreciation

Gratitude comes a long way.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Day 23: In Your Closet

In my closet lies... probably a bunch of clothing I don't need. At times, to discern the differences between a necessity and a desire doesn't come as easy to the mind and to the self. It's easier to say we need something rather than wanting it, so it seems like no matter what the situation is, one way or another we will get what we wish for in the end. It is easier to say we need because it is an excuse for us to own something or to have something our way.

Were we talking about my closet? Because there's not much to it really...

Here's a song I listen to when I seek tranquility. What do you find comfort in?

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Day 22: Clothing

A top I sewn from scratch with fabric that belonged to my grandmother. Leftovers, most of the times and even if not plenty in amount, can be put to good use.

Like remnants of fabric, a good song's a treasure.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Day 21: Where You Sleep

A chunk of my room and where I sleep! The bed I now sleep snugly on was given gratis and the sheets for the bed and pillow were brought all the way from home. Pillow sheets are underrated, don't you think?

Back to some indie pop.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Day 20: Seasonal

The lowest temperature in Kville so far has been -14°C. There was a blizzard on the first day it snowed here and that happened about three weeks ago. It gets really chilly one day and a lot warmer and sunnier the next; the climate here is pretty much inconstant and unpredictable at most times but it's bearable! (for now)

Good music never dies. Enjoy!

Day 19: Best Friend

On a portion of my wall in my bedroom lies numerous pictures as well as my drawings and little things like quotes and glow in the dark stickers. The pictures are of my family and good friends; a few of them are my best friends, maybe some of them were, but quite a few still are.

By definition, 'best friend' means someone who is closest to us or someone who shares the strongest possible kind of friendship (or at least that's what online dictionaries tell me). The term 'best friend' an ample load; saying the term itself adds a whole level of significance to a sentence (e.g. Jasmine's my friend because I like talking to her as compared to Jasmine's my best friend because I like talking to her about everything and anything). Picture a truck accommodating two individuals who, of course share the closest bond, and having the capacity to contain countless of various things within its interior space. Too heavy of a load and the truck struggles to maintain at the optimum speed. Too light of a load and the truck accelerates and struggles to find balance. The countless various things which make up the load are like the oppressing, two-ton load the title 'best friend' carries.

I could go on but that'd probably be me speaking as my pessimistic self, which isn't just because in light of this photo challenge theme, I do have something to be thankful for. The symbolism of that one term differs for people; 'best friend' used to mean a whole lot of specialty and essence to me, and it still is of importance in my life but over time, I've come to realize that having a 'best friend' doesn't necessarily mean having a friend closest to you.

Over time, I've come across more situations pertaining friendship; experiences have been fell upon, perception has been built and values have been learned. Over time, I've sat in several trucks; I either stay in one or leave to another if a truck undergoes imbalance. I can't be in more than one at a time but I try to frequently move from one truck to another. The other passenger and I have taken turns to drive the truck and from that, we learn that being the driver and the one in the passenger seat bears no difference in neither position nor eminence. The driver drives and the other person navigates. Together, the two get the truck going. Throughout the journey may it be long or short, the two may struggle with the truck but they help each other out. I've thought that the ample load of things the truck carries may get burdensome at times but little did I know that the load also includes both the two individuals in the truck.

I'll leave it at that simply because I've pondered for a while and I still am trying to bring forth a conclusion or rather, a purpose to this post but I can't seem to come up with one. And I figured that this could be interpreted differently by others, which isn't wrong or bad at all, so I'll just leave it at that.

You know how songs are like spontaneous sticky notes on the fridge? Yeah, they remind you of things.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Day 18: Something New

As hardly new this barren tree might appear to look in this picture, the experience of encountering it and its surrounding nature was beyond new; it was distinct and refreshing, not just for the eyes but for the mind and the soul. Having to cross the path of this one tree might have been more of an experience than crossing the paths of many luscious grown trees.

This song's new for me, it might be new for you too. Have a listen and enjoy.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Day 17: Memories

At times I find it not as easy to retrieve my memories or that I just don't think about a specific thing in my life for what seems to be a prolonged period of time until I feel like my memories of that thing is cast away. This can't possibly be a deadly grave matter but as soon as I noticed that I forget easily, I thought there could be good in that; when referring to an upsetting or frustrating subject, forgetting could be good, no? But akin to a lot of other things, to easily forget is not black and white - there could be some good and some bad.

I have yet to uncover potent methods to remember all events I encounter precisely as they are, but for now, I am sure of one thing; it concerns with the subsistence of technology and the mere effort of making not a superabundant but an adequate amount of time to keep in touch with people I'd like to remember. The expression out of sight, out of mind might prove a few things correct but I personally believe some of them are inevitable. Why let what are deemed to be facts or beliefs happen and be proven true when you are capable of changing the outcome? I can't guarantee the truth or the future but the least I would do to remember someone if I want to is to try to remember them; for that to happen I am eternally grateful for the sustenance of which ever form of electronic communication and social networking sites I utilize. And of course, for the effort to have the occasional Skype sessions just to chat and catch up.

My thank yous can never be sufficient but I am truly thankful to have known and create bonds with people I now wish to remember and keep in contact with. Memories, if you had plentiful of, come a long way. They are not everything, but they are something. I know and believe I do not necessarily need to remember every single event in my life, not even most if irretrievable or impossible, but what I should or rather, would do, is to continue making more memories, may they be good or bad. Continue having the occasional Skype sessions, even if that is the closest I can get to someone I yearn to talk to. Even when the future is ambiguous, continue, for it'll be worthwhile.

The above picture is supposedly centered on the Christmas card I recently received via mail from a few good friends of mine all the way from my home country.

To learning to remember.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Day 16: Animals

A precious present gifted once upon a time from a good friend of mine;
this little cutie here was named Habitha Hamina Hornyak.

A favorite feel-good song, always.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Day 15: Technology

Never can we disregard technology for it is our good friend; one that helps us feel closer to family and friends back home and one that makes distance seem not as big of an issue.

Here I present you...good music. 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Day 14: Movement

This picture was taken outside the Saint Louis Art Museum on a one-day field trip to St Louis somewhere back in mid October 2012. Being one of the first few places I got to explore in the States, St Louis was although not a city as big as New York but the size didn't matter; the trip was still exciting for me. Along with a group of slightly less than 20 other students enrolled in Truman's Art classes, I got to visit the Contemporary Art Museum and the St Louis Art Museum. The trip, although brief and lasted only half a day, was honestly a nice getaway from school and from Kville town.

Going somewhere new is always a thrill, no? Traveling, the movement from one place to another, being exposed to fresh experiences and ideas, getting to catch sights of a tad more of the world; if I could sum it up into one word, it'd be worthwhile.

Get your reggae on. Enjoy.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Day 13: Written Words

Traces I left behind on my arcane ventures.
Lol jokes. 

At one time a few months back I made it a habit to leave a "note" whenever I was at the stationery department in bookstores. What prompted me to do it? Well yea sure I could be writing quotes and doodling stick figure faces just to have tryouts on the multi-colored Sharpies, marker pens and all that jazz, but what prompted me to do it? I honestly don't remember, it was probably pertaining to the fact that I had a lot of free time in my hands that even the pettiest things kept me enthralled.

What had I hoped for from leaving notes behind? Well...maybe...I kinda...hope...I hope people who pass by my notes will look at them or at least take a glance and maybe mull over the written words. Might be better than reading what was written on the bottom right in the first picture, no? It was already there before I jotted down a quote by Martin Luther King, Jr - mm hmm, they're not as legible but I'm guessing most people can probably get a gist of the words written at the bottom, lol. What I left behind might have meant nothing to anyone but it's something to read or to look at I suppose?

For the dreamers and ponderers.